Writing Music.

Writing music is terrible, unless you're one of those "gifted" kids who can pull a song out of their ass without lifting a finger. I can do that too, but it's called a fart and I like when I lift my finger to have someone pull on it right before I let go.

I don't mean just playing an existing song, or writing a "sweet riff" or a jam or whatever... I mean writing a deliverable, tabbable, repeatable song that you could play on tour for the rest of your existence and be able to reproduce it to the fans' faithful expectations. I mean writing a song with a guitar melody, a piano melody, a bass line, a guitar progression, vocals, backing vocals... all that shit.

I've written my fair share of "songs", but when it came to recording, I never ever ever wanted to commit to having the song one way or another. It really is a tough, self-conscience decision to really write a song, and record it, much less perform it publicly. I listen to so many fucking awesome songs that I feel like there's just no room for my shit outside of my bedroom walls. I like my songs, for the most part, but God knows that I can think its the most amazing song to come out of my hands and still never want to play it for anyone to hear. What is with THAT?

I think this leads to a much bigger problem: non-committal attitudes. Society as a whole only gets stuff done when people commit, such as when it is their job. And I know that the reason musicians are so good are because it's their job... literally. But they started somewhere, with some innate knowledge that someday they would rise up to spread their wings and sing a goddamn song in a room full of goddamn, uncaring strangers and that these strangers would like that song enough to want to hear it again. But this non-committal attitude as a whole kills so many hopes and dreams, I can't even begin to figure it all out. I want to be a musician, on the side. That's an acceptable, understandable dream. But I just can't commit to this, or I find myself regretting every line of lyrics I wrote down. Well how in hell am I supposed to become a musician if I don't even try? I always put it off, and just keep writing new stuff.

Most people do the same thing, going on with their jobs until they're old enough to retire and suddenly realize they'd put off doing all of their dreams until they had literally nothing else to do. But now it's too late for them.

Writing music blows, but how the hell else will I ever write music?